Banyak orang pikir orang Malaysia itu jago2 banget bahasa Inggrisnya. I thought the same. Living for a few years in Malaysia, I finally know that majority Malaysians cannot speak English (including the number 1 Malaysian singer yg ngetop banget di Indo itu loccch giliiingg gosip banget gue..).
What I write below really happens in Malaysia.
+++++++++++++
Boss nyuruh gue cari Supervisor Baru untuk shift malam becos Supervisor yg lama kabur setelah kerja 8 hari. Wah tu orang punya radar untuk ngedetect orang gila bagus banget.. keluaran baru kali. Begitu kerja beberapa hari aja, radarnya langsung bunyi nyaring tiap kali si Boss datang mendekat....
So since I know my Boss very well yg pelitnya ngalahin Tuan Takur, kagak bakalan dah dia mau pasang iklan Walk In Interview di koran. Jadi gue cuman print Lowongan Kerja dan fotokopi, trus tempek di halte2 bis.. Ya gitu deh, yg gembar gembor perusahaannya paling top sedunia.. segini doang kalo iklannya...
Hari Walk In Interview udah ditentukan, dan datang lah beberapa orang. Gue kasih formulir untuk diisi. Gayanya ada yg pake dasi, nyentrik rambut ala animasi jepang, bawa laptop, macam2. Kasian.. dia kagak tau begitu mulai kerja aja, bajunya pada belepotan gemuk dah..
These are several answers that left me rolling on the floor laughing!
+++++++++++
Question - Place of Birth.
Answer: Rumah orang tua (kurang lengkap nih, bilang dong di tempat tidur di kamar tempat emak dan bapak esek2, gituuh..)
Question – Marital Status: Married / Single (pls tick)
Answer: Yes. (what? so you're both married and single? what a Gatal man!)
Question – If you are a single, when do you plan to get married?
Answer: Sudah berkahwin. Lepas tu bercerai pasal bekas istri bukan jodoh saya. Orang tua bekas istri tak suka kan saya. (ok, a next bestseller romance novel will be released!)
Question – Describe what does being a hard worker mean to you.
Answer: Yes. Kerja office. (biarpun di office dia tidur ngorok, tetep kerja keras. Maksudnya berusaha keras supaya gak ileran..)
Question: Why should we hire you?
Answer: Boleh nego. (dikata nanyain berapa gaji dia mau kaleeee)
Question – Tell us about yourself.
Answer: Tinggi 5' 8". Berat: 72kg. Rambut hitam. (tambahin dong.. keturunan Jerman, bapak jereng emak preman)
Question – Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Answer: Warganegara Malaysia, dari Kuala Lipis, Pahang. (ngitungin monyet di pu'un)
Question: Have you ever had a conflict with your Boss?
Answer: Setakat (sejauh) ini, pekerja biasa sahaja. Belum pernah jadi Boss. (udah keburu GR duluan disangkain mo dijadiin Boss kale)
Question – If your Boss is away and does not give you any tasks to do, what will you do?
Answer: Saya akan biar dia relax dulu, lepas tu saya akan minta maaf dan bertanya apa kesalahan saya. (ngapain juga lo minta maaf? lah wong Boss lo pergi balik ke rumah gara2 dia salah pake celana kolor bininya!)
++++++++++++++++
Ajaib?? Belon... ada satu jawaban yg REALLY made my ketawa ngakak sekenceng2nya! This one..
Question: Are you a team player?
Answer:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yes. Badminton dan Bola Sepak.
Hahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!
What I write below really happens in Malaysia.
+++++++++++++
Boss nyuruh gue cari Supervisor Baru untuk shift malam becos Supervisor yg lama kabur setelah kerja 8 hari. Wah tu orang punya radar untuk ngedetect orang gila bagus banget.. keluaran baru kali. Begitu kerja beberapa hari aja, radarnya langsung bunyi nyaring tiap kali si Boss datang mendekat....
So since I know my Boss very well yg pelitnya ngalahin Tuan Takur, kagak bakalan dah dia mau pasang iklan Walk In Interview di koran. Jadi gue cuman print Lowongan Kerja dan fotokopi, trus tempek di halte2 bis.. Ya gitu deh, yg gembar gembor perusahaannya paling top sedunia.. segini doang kalo iklannya...
Hari Walk In Interview udah ditentukan, dan datang lah beberapa orang. Gue kasih formulir untuk diisi. Gayanya ada yg pake dasi, nyentrik rambut ala animasi jepang, bawa laptop, macam2. Kasian.. dia kagak tau begitu mulai kerja aja, bajunya pada belepotan gemuk dah..
These are several answers that left me rolling on the floor laughing!
+++++++++++
Question - Place of Birth.
Answer: Rumah orang tua (kurang lengkap nih, bilang dong di tempat tidur di kamar tempat emak dan bapak esek2, gituuh..)
Question – Marital Status: Married / Single (pls tick)
Answer: Yes. (what? so you're both married and single? what a Gatal man!)
Question – If you are a single, when do you plan to get married?
Answer: Sudah berkahwin. Lepas tu bercerai pasal bekas istri bukan jodoh saya. Orang tua bekas istri tak suka kan saya. (ok, a next bestseller romance novel will be released!)
Question – Describe what does being a hard worker mean to you.
Answer: Yes. Kerja office. (biarpun di office dia tidur ngorok, tetep kerja keras. Maksudnya berusaha keras supaya gak ileran..)
Question: Why should we hire you?
Answer: Boleh nego. (dikata nanyain berapa gaji dia mau kaleeee)
Question – Tell us about yourself.
Answer: Tinggi 5' 8". Berat: 72kg. Rambut hitam. (tambahin dong.. keturunan Jerman, bapak jereng emak preman)
Question – Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Answer: Warganegara Malaysia, dari Kuala Lipis, Pahang. (ngitungin monyet di pu'un)
Question: Have you ever had a conflict with your Boss?
Answer: Setakat (sejauh) ini, pekerja biasa sahaja. Belum pernah jadi Boss. (udah keburu GR duluan disangkain mo dijadiin Boss kale)
Question – If your Boss is away and does not give you any tasks to do, what will you do?
Answer: Saya akan biar dia relax dulu, lepas tu saya akan minta maaf dan bertanya apa kesalahan saya. (ngapain juga lo minta maaf? lah wong Boss lo pergi balik ke rumah gara2 dia salah pake celana kolor bininya!)
++++++++++++++++
Ajaib?? Belon... ada satu jawaban yg REALLY made my ketawa ngakak sekenceng2nya! This one..
Question: Are you a team player?
Answer:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yes. Badminton dan Bola Sepak.
Hahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!
