Chaos@work

Tadi pagi meeting di kantor lawyer perusahaan di kawasan mentereng di Mont Kiara.

Sambil nunggu Lawyer selesai meeting sama client, kami duduk di ruang tamu yg keren banget ala living room rumah2 Inggris gitu. Sekretarisnya si Lawyer nongol dan bertanya with her perfect English pronounciation "Sorry to keep you waiting. Mr. Lai is still having conference call at the moment. Is there anything you'd like to drink? What would you like?"

Boss: (action becos sekretarisnya cakeppppp banget) Do you have tea? (Loh boss kok accentnya ganti nih? Biasanya accent Km.12 kecamatan Sukaraja, sekarang ganti British style neh..
Secretary: Yes, we do. What sort of tea you'd like?
Boss: Tea.
Secretary: (bingung) Mmm.. any specific tea you'd like?
Boss: Hah? (muka pongo mode -on)
Secretary: Like.. we have Jasmine, Earl Grey, Chamomile tea. Which one you'd like?
Boss: Oooh. Sorry, still confuse because of the traffic HA HA HA! Terrible.. terrible.
Secretary: (senyum) So? What tea you'd like?
Boss: Err.. yes yes the last one tadi.
Secretary: Chamomile tea?
Boss: Ya ya. I love that tea! It’s my favourite drink! I don’t drink any tea but that one! When I was small, my grandmother used to make that for me and my mother. My grandfather likes it too. We are tea lover family!

Udah aja lo ceritain semua silsilah keluarga elu sekalian biar secretarynya ngorok nungging soale elu nggak banget deh!

Secretary: (senyum) Sure. How about you, miss?
Gue: Just cold plain water please. Thank you.
Secretary: No problem. Please wait.

Emang cakep banget sih itu sekretaris. Ada gitu orang kulitnya bening bener. Si Boss pun langsung gatel pantatnya kayak kremian menahun gak sembuh2..

Boss: Cakep bener ya..
Gue: Iya.
Boss: Coba kalo kamu cakep kayak gitu..

Trus lu bakal naksir gue gitu? Ogah!!!!!!!

Boss: Melayu kan ya? Cewek Kelantan kali ya?
Gue: Mungkin. Biasanya cewek Kelantan bening2 kayak gitu.
Boss: Saya jadi deg2an kalo dia senyum. Jadi pengen nge-sun..

Somehow, after dia bilang pengen nge-sun itu, I looked at his face and he terribly looked like Karjo ACDC di Tante Sun..

Akhirnya segelas air es dan secangkir teh pun muncul dibawakan oleh office girl. Gue langsung tenggak. Panas banget soalnya hari itu. Si Boss gak langsung minum. Dia cuman celup2an tea bag ke air panas di cangkir. Gue pikir emang dia nunggu ademan dikit kali. Secretaris nongol a few minutes after dan ngeliat si Boss belum minum.

Secretary: Enjoy your drink?
Boss: I wait until it's dark enough.

Gue dan si Secretary bengong mandangin si Boss, but then she smiled and left meninggalkan aroma parfum yg tertinggal di ruangan.

Gue (nyolek si Boss): Pak, Chamomile tea itu emang gak item warna tehnya! Emang cuman kuning gitu!
Boss: Ah.. masak sih? Enggak item emangnya? Ini kuning semriwing gini kok!
Gue: Lah iya emang cuman gitu warnanya!
Boss: Ya ngobrol dooong… jadi malu kan saya sama cewek itu!
Gue: Lah emangnya bapak gak pernah minum Chamomile tea apa? Katanya favourit bapak!

So si Boss mulai menyeruput tehnya. Tiba2 roman mukenye berubah kecut..

Boss: Idih! Teh apaan sih nih?.... Rasanya kayak kencing kuda!
Gue: Kan tadi bapak minta Chamomile tea..
Boss: Iya tapi iiih.. rasanya gak enak banget.. mau muntah saya! Ini kencing kuda kali niiih..

Satpam yg lagi duduk di pojok ruangan ngeliatin kami..

Gue: Jangan kenceng2 gitu ngomongnya.. gak enak didenger.. masak iya kencing kuda dikasih ke tamu.. gimana sih bapak..
Boss: Amit2 ih ini teh! Uuuuweeeeekkk… hiiiii…. Kencing kuda niiih…
Gue: Emangnya bapak pernah minum teh ini apa belum sih? Kok gak tau kalo warna dan rasa Chamomile tea ya begini ini..
Boss: Belum.
Gue: Loh kok tadi ngakunya suka banget?! Pake bawa-bawa nenek segala..
Boss: Ya gengsi doooonggg.......

Boss gue itu.. mestinya jadi anggota Warkop DKI...