Chaos@work

Ketika pertama kali buku MY STUPID BOSS dipinang oleh FALCON PICTURES, gue sempet mikir ni jangan2 mereka mau ajakin gue tanding panjat pinang. Kalo iya gue bakalan kalah dah secara manjat pager aja gue nyangkut di tengah2 apalagi panjat pinang. Eh salah salah... bukan itu maksud gua. Maksud gue tuh ye,  gue sempat menyampaikan hasrat gue ke Pak HB Naveen  dari Falcon Pictures saat itu bahwa cerita ini bagus dipakai untuk menjembatani hubungan antara Indonesia dan Malaysia yg persiiis suami istri lagi marahan.

Benci tapi rindu.

Ya gimana gak benci tapi rindu.. marahnya di social media doang. Tapi pengunjung terbanyak Lego Land ya turis Indonesia dan pengunjung terbanyak di pasar2 pakaian Indonesia ya buyers dari Malaysia! Persis kayak istri yg lagi ngambeg ke suaminya blg ke anaknya.. "Tanyain Papa kamu (muka lipet sembilan bibir maju 17 senti)... mau makan gak?! Gak mau makan ya bagus! Mama gak usah repot2 siapin! Biarin kelaperan sana!" Tapi begitu si Papa beneran gak mau makan, si Mama jadi baper sendiri.

Jadi gw mikir dari dulu, tiap kali Indo-Malaysia lagi tegang, yg rame pasti FB sama Youtube doang. Yg benernya itu semua ego. Gak usah ego2an klz ga bakalan kenyang juga makan tuh ego baik digoreng maupun digulai.

Ih kenapa tetiba gue jadi pengen nasi padang bungkus ya -.-

Ok ok back to the main issue. The fact that I dearly love the 2 countries and I wish at least I could take part dalam memesrakan hubungan mereka kembali seperti dulu (emang dulu Indo Malay pernah mesra sik?) membuat gue menyampaikan hasrat gue ke Pak Naveen. Biarpun tidak semesra jamannya P Ramlee yah setidak2nya kayak jaman Marlon Brando di film Satria Bergitar lah. Gak usah lu google beneran apa kagak Marlon Brando maen di tu pilm. Jangankan elu, Google aja minum Antimo mabok buat nyari hubungannya..

AND NOW!! TODAY!!

I heard a shocking news that left me speechless!

MY STUPID BOSS IS GONNA PLAY IN 4 COUNTRIES ON THE SAME DATE! 19 OF MAY! INDONESIA, MALAYSIA, SINGAPORE, AND BRUNEI!

I couldn't believe what I read! Flashback! Flashback! Zuuuuppp!!!

I recalled when HB Naveen phoned me in 2014. That time I questioned them about the fate of this movie, it was uncertain. He promised me he'd make one hell of a movie and HE INDEED MADE HIS PROMISE! I feel so awesome! Eh maksud gue, HB Naveen is so awesome! And of course I am awesome too! (teteuub) The whole thing is sooo awesome! And today I texted him.

Megan Fox: Pak Naveen this is D***
Megan Fox: Been receiving news from Erica and Upi.
Megan Fox: Thank you for being all out for the movie :)

Dese bales..

Naveen: It's our pleasure, Dik (yg benernya sih dia manggil Ibu tapi eh suka suka guweeee)
Naveen: Thank you for trusting us with your life story.
Naveen: It comes out beautiful. I am sure you will like it.

Then gue speechless utk yg ketiga kali! Hah? Perasaan speechesless nya baru sekali deh Mbak Ker. Kok udah yg ketiga kali aja. Yg kedua kali mane? Udahlah.. kalo baca tulisan gue gak pake mikir yg ribet2. Tau kan gue kalo nulis gak pake mikir ga pake koreksi. Kayak lg ngomong di depan elu aja.. suka2 riang gembira aje yegak? Biarpun yg benernya matematika gue di STTB dapet 4 makanya gue keder sendiri..

Elu: Hah? STTB? Mbak Ker ini angkatan berapa toh kok masih pake STTB?

Gue: zzzzzzz... diam lah lu zzzzz...

Okeh back to the core matter!! Sssssss coba ya jangan alihkan konsentrasi saya! Coba di ujung sana masih ada ribut2 dikit tolong diem dulu. Yg pacaran coba yg pacaran di luar aja jgn ganggu saya. Ok lanjutkan..

Gue makin kaget. Kenapa gue kaget? Gada yg DORRRR gue padahal. Apalagi nabok gue pake duit cetiaw notiaw apalagi kwetiaw. Gue kaget karena kata2 dia membuat gue terkesima! (Kadang gw suka sebel sendiri sama ke lebay an gue zzzzzz). Dia nulis apa yg bikin gue terkesima?

"THANK YOU FOR TRUSTING US WITH YOUR LIFE STORY."

That's it! Spot on! It is INDEED my REAL life story. And who am I? WHO AM I?

(Kagaaaak gue kagak amnesiaaaa apaan sih loooo)

Guys gue hanya orang biasa2 saja. Someone whom you will ignore if you meet her on the streets. Someone who WILL never imagine or even expect or wish that her real life story will be a book and now will be a movie watched by hundred thousand of people in 4 countries! How AWESOME is that?! I asked for 2 countries and he gave me 4! You guys might don't know me as I hide myself under Chaos@work but it doesn't matter. Fame isn't what I am looking for to hell with that.  But how big is the chance that your real life story will be known and watched by hundred thousand of people?! Berapa besar kesempatan bahwa kisah hidup kamu ditonton ratusan ribu orang?! 

One in a billion!

And I did it! I nailed it! Gradien Mediatama, Falcon Pictures, Upi Avianto and crews (Upi you are one helluva girl!) and the most important thing is.. YOU! YOU ALL HAVE MADE MY WISH COME TRUE! And I cannot thank yoalls enough for making my wish come true. You play the biggest part of my life that I can prove even an ordinary person like me and you can do something big. Something HUGE! And no gue gak percaya itu sama yg namanya keberuntungan. Karena kisah hidup gue ini bukanlah undian. Bukanlah lottery. Ini adalah penderitaan gue bekerja dgn satu2nya Velociraptor yg tdk punah krn hujan meteor itu yg somehow gue twist menjadi sesuatu yg lucu utk melampiaskan kekesalan gue. Something that when other people read it, it entertains them. Dan anehnya ke sini2nya malah bikin mereka kangen! Malah bikin Boss gue lebih ngetop dari gue! Ini kenapa jadi dia yg lebih ngetop dari gueeeee wooyyyy! Salah arah lo semuanya! Gue udah mejeng garing di sini eh malahan dia yg elu tunggu2 payah dah lu..

But it's all good, Guys. I am here to fulfill your desire to read more miserable tortures yg dilakukan Gelondongan Kabel terhadap Keraninya yg malang that again, none of the stories is fake. All real. The only fake things are stuffs kayak the asah parang, the names, etc but the main stories, the characters, all real. And I still have tonnnsssss stories I will reveal one by one. 

For you :)

Akhir kata saya serahkan panggung kepada Bapak Lurah.. waktu dan tempat saya persilahkan.

Pak Lurah pun naik panggung dan berkata..

"Kalau anda mau melihat bagaimana orang2 yg tidak lucu sama sekali terjebak dalam situasi yg jg tidak lucu, tapi karena yg mengalaminya memutar kenyataan asli menjadi sesuatu yg ancur dan lucu, dan kalau anda ingin melihat bagaimana pengalaman hidup yg tidak mengenakkan bisa ditransfer menjadi sesuatu yg mengajak orang lain untuk tertawa bersama, melihat satu kisah dimana kalian sendiri juga pernah mengalaminya, melihat satu kisah yang membuat kalian berpikir "Waduh ini cerita mah gue bangeeeet".... AJAKLAH TEMAN PACAR MAMA PAPA ADIK MERTUA IPAR GURU TETANGGA PACAR GELAP PACAR TERANG BAHKAN KALAU PERLU BOSS ANDA JUGA KE CINEMA MULAI DARI 19 MEI UNTUK MENONTON FILM MY STUPID BOSS! Sekian dan terima kasih!"

Remember what my famous line is?!!

IMPOSSIBLE WE DO. MIRACLE WE TRY! And you should know the real meaning of it is exactly like how the whole thing behind My Stupid Boss becomes like now! And kata2 itu murni terjadi di antara percakapan gue dan Bossman, real life :D And I so wish I could thank and hug each one of you cossss I am just soooo excited but you know lah kan gue takut badan lu patah2 kalo gue peluk secara yaaa gitu deeehh...

So guys! Be there or .... just be there!!!

Much luvs!